Amarhe:
Abantwana abaninzi bayathandaamathoyizi amnandi. Bazibamba xa belele, besitya okanye besiya kudlala. Abazali abaninzi babhidekile yile nto. Baqikelela ukuba oku kungenxa yokuba abantwana babo abanabuhlobo yaye abanakuvana nabanye abantwana. Banexhala lokuba olu luphawu lokungakhuseleki kwabantwana babo. Bade bacinge ukuba ukuba abangeneleli kwangethuba, kulula ngabantwana babo ukuba babe neengxaki zobuntu. Bade bazame zonke iindlela zokwenza ukuba abantwana babo "bayeke" ezi zinto zokudlala zigqwesileyo.
Ukutolikwa kweNyaniso:
Abantwana abaninzi bayazithanda iithoyi ezimfumamfuma. Bazibamba xa belele, besitya okanye besiya kudlala. Abazali abaninzi babhidekile yile nto. Baqikelela ukuba oku kungenxa yokuba abantwana babo abanabuhlobo yaye abanakuvana nabanye abantwana. Banexhala lokuba olu luphawu lokungakhuseleki kwabantwana babo. Bade bacinge ukuba ukuba abangeneleli kwangethuba, kulula ngabantwana babo ukuba babe neengxaki zobuntu. Bade bazame zonke iindlela zokwenza ukuba abantwana babo "bayeke" ezi zinto zokudlala zigqwesileyo. Ngaba la maxhala namaxhala ayimfuneko ngokwenene? Sifanele sikujonge njani ukuxhomekeka kwabantwana kwezi zinto zokudlala zoonodoli?
01
"Amaqabane entelekelelo"akhapha abantwana ukuya kwinkululeko
Ukuthanda amathoyizi aluhlaza akunanto yakwenza nemvakalelo yokhuseleko
Enyanisweni, le nto ibizwa ngokuba "yi-soft object attachment" yi-psychologists, kwaye yimbonakaliso yenguqu yophuhliso lwabantwana oluzimeleyo. Ukuphatha izinto zokudlala ezimfuma-mfuma “njengamaqabane abo entelekelelo” kunokubanceda baphelise uxinezeleko kwiimeko ezithile nakwiimeko ezithile, yaye abazali akufuneki bakhathazeke kakhulu.
Isazi ngengqondo uDonald Wincott wenza isifundo sokuqala malunga nesenzeko sokuncamathela kwabantwana kwinto yokudlala okanye into ethile ethambileyo, kwaye wagqiba kwelokuba le nto inentsingiselo yenguqu kuphuhliso lwengqondo lwabantwana. Ubize izinto ezithambileyo ezithi abantwana bancanyathiselwe “kwizinto eziguqukayo”. Njengoko abantwana bekhula, baye bazimele ngakumbi nangakumbi ngokwasengqondweni, kwaye ngokwemvelo baya kuyidlulisela le nkxaso yeemvakalelo kwezinye iindawo.
Kuphando lukaRichard Passman, isazi ngengqondo yomntwana kwiYunivesithi yaseWisconsin, kunye nabanye, kwafunyaniswa ukuba le "nto encamathelayo into ethambileyo" iyinto eqhelekileyo kwihlabathi liphela. Ngokomzekelo, e-United States, e-Netherlands, eNew Zealand nakwamanye amazwe, umlinganiselo wabantwana abane-complex "i-soft object attachment" ifikelele kwi-3/5, ngelixa idatha e-South Korea yi-1/5. Kunokubonwa ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba abanye abantwana banamathele kwizinto zokudlala ezimfumamfuma okanye izinto ezithambileyo. Yaye kubalulekile ukuphawula ukuba inkoliso yaba bantwana bathanda izinto zokudlala ezitofotofo abaziva bekhuselekile yaye banolwalamano oluhle lomzali nomntwana nabazali babo.
02
Abantu abadala nabo banokuxhomekeka kwizinto ezithambileyo
Kuyaqondakala ukunciphisa uxinzelelo ngokufanelekileyo
Ngokuphathelele abo bantwana baxhomekeke kakhulu kuboamathoyizi amnandi, abazali bafanele babakhokele njani ngendlela echanileyo? Nanga amacebiso amathathu:
Okokuqala, musa ukubanyanzela ukuba bayeke. Ungaphambukisa ingqalelo yabo kwizinto zokudlala ezithile ngokusebenzisa izinto ezibambeleyo ezithandwa ngabanye abantwana; okwesibini, hlakulela ezinye izinto ezinomdla wabantwana kwaye ubakhokele ekuhloleni izinto ezintsha, ukuze banciphise ngokuthe ngcembe ukunamathela kwabo kwizinto zokudlala ezimfumamfuma; okwesithathu, khuthaza abantwana ukuba bathi ndlela-ntle okwexeshana kwizinto abazithandayo, ukuze abantwana bazi ukuba kukho izinto ezinomdla ezibalindileyo.
Enyanisweni, ukongeza kubantwana, abaninzi abantu abadala nabo banamathele okuthile kwizinto ezithambileyo. Ngokomzekelo, bathanda ukunika izinto zokudlala ezimfumamfuma njengezipho, kwaye abaxhathisi oonodoli abahle abakumatshini wozipho; umzekelo, abanye abantu bathanda iipjama ezimfumamfuma kakhulu kunezinye izinto kunye namalaphu. Bakhetha izitayile ezimfumamfuma kwi-cushions kwi-sofa, iingubo eziphantsi, kunye neentsimbi zeenwele kunye neefowuni zefowuni ... ngenxa yokuba ezi zinto zinokwenza abantu bazive bekhululekile kwaye bekhululekile, kwaye bade bafezekise umphumo wokunciphisa.
Ngamafutshane, ndiyathemba ukuba abazali banokujonga ngokuchanekileyo ukuxhomekeka kwabantwana babo kwizinto zokudlala ezinqabileyo, bangakhathazeki kakhulu, kwaye bangabanyanzeli ukuba bayeke. Bakhokele ngobubele kwaye uncede iintsana zabo zikhule ngeyona ndlela ilungileyo. Kubantu abadala, ukuba nje ayigqithisi kwaye ayichaphazeli ubomi obuqhelekileyo, ukusebenzisa ezinye iimfuno zemihla ngemihla ukuze uzenze ukhululeke kwaye ukhululekile kuyindlela efanelekileyo yokunciphisa.
Ixesha lokuposa: Mar-13-2025